conviction...

It is so easy to wander through life, not noticing the great blessings God has bestowed upon us. For example, If I flip the switch on and get light several times a day, every day, for 22 years, then I very rarely think to stop and thank God for light. When I go a month or longer without electricty, I begin to praise God every time I flip that switch and light enters the room.

I would like to compare that thought to how blessed I am to have a Bible and the ability to study it.

According to UNESCO, in the world today there are about 1 billion non-literate adults.

• This 1 billion is approximately 26 percent of the world's adult population.
  Women make up two-thirds of all non-literates.
• 98 percent of all non-literates live in developing countries.
• In the least developed countries, the overall illiteracy rate is 49 percent.
• 52 percent of all non-literates live in India and China.
• Africa as a continent has a literacy rate of less than 60 percent.
• In Sub-Saharan Africa since 1980, primary school enrollment has declined, going from 58 percent to 50 percent.
• In all developing countries, the percentage of children aged 6-11 not attending school is 15 percent. In the least developed countries, it is 45 percent.(UNESCO 1998)
  

Combine that with these facts:

• Of the 2,400 language groups with portions of the Bible, roughly 1,115 have the New Testament.
• Only 426 have a full Bible, including the Old Testament
• (If I am reading these stats right) that means, of 2,400 languages (that HAVE portions of the Bible, this does not include language groups that do not have portions of the Bible!), 53% do not have bibles translated into their language, only 46% have the New Testament, and only 17% have both old and new testament translated into their language (that means 83% of the world’s languages that have a portion of the Bible do not have the entire Bible translation).

The fact is…if I was born in any third-world country, the chances are that I would be highly unlikely to pick up a Bible and start reading it. Even worse, if I was born into one of those people groups without a Bible…I couldn’t even have someone in my community that does read, read it to me.

But the possibility of not having access to read God’s word is not secluded to third world countries. I interact with people every day…right here in America…who cannot read. I have met a few who cannot even write their own name. They aren’t stupid and they don’t have learning disabilities…they were just born into violent, abusive, and neglectful families that never sent them to school.

But I walk by 4 bibles and many shelves of books filled with books explaining passages of scripture every single day. I live in a country with over a hundred evangelical bible colleges, universities, and seminaries. There are hundreds of sound theologians that are publishing books faster then I will ever be able to read that exegete and expound on scripture. I could sign up to study Greek and Hebrew and study God’s word for myself in the original language.

Failure to study God’s word is more then a lack of discipline in my life, it is foolish and sinful. It should be as repulsive as a nation starving to death while there is enough food for a daily thanksgiving day feast sitting in storage.

To go throughout my life without studying God’s word on a consistent and continual basis, is like going through life with a million dollars in my bank account, yet sleeping in Central Park in the middle of the winter. It would be stupid, and yet…when I stood before God, I feel like that would make more sense then trying to account for why I was not immersed in this great gift that God has given me while so much of the world has lived without it.

Sunday Reflections...

I came to church this morning feeling a little drained, but the songs and the message cut to my heart as we talked about God’s promises and God’s will. I want to cling to the promises that God has given us in His word. God promises to redeem this earth and redeem his children. I want to look at this world and be moved (to action) with compassion like Christ was, not distracted and apathetic at all the chaotic mess.

This is the first week since I began my job that I was counting down the days for my weekend to begin. I was feeling discouraged the past few days as I encounter so many people who are living devastating, destructive lives...not just at work, but everywhere I look. I am surrounded by many people who are living in a man-made hell on earth. As I look at all the hurt, pain, and suffering in everyone’s life, sometimes I feel so weighed down. I only personally know the human suffering of a small handful in comparison with the billions of people that walk this earth. That thought is overwhelming, but at the same time makes me want to fall on my face and worship my God.

I cannot believe that I follow a God that sympathizes with the pain and suffering of humanity and desires to redeem it…not only does God desire to see us walking in unity with Him, but he gave his son, to die for our sins, that we may have the hope of living a life in unity with God’s heart, desires, and passions.

Vermon read Ephesians 3:20 this morning and it struck my heart in such a special way, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

If I, a human, a sinner, can ask and think of the worst of situations to be made whole and complete in Christ, then how much greater is God’s desire to do that for humanity? It is incomparable. I serve a God that is ABLE TO DO far more ABUNDANTLY than all that I ask or think. ..ABLE…TO DO…FAR MORE…ABUNDANTLY…ALL…that I ASK…OR THINK… I am truly in awe of God when I think of this. How can I be discouraged when I think about God’s great heart of love, compassion, justice, and righteousness?

Just wanted to share the words of some songs we sang today that really touched my heart.

The first one touched me because I feel like I can easily get lost in trying to understand what God has willed and planned. When I can freely admit that I am not skilled to undertand those things, I am freed to look at what I do know…I know that at God’s right hand is my Savior.

The second song touched me because I do not want to ever claim freedom from sorrow, pain, or care, I only want to glorify God’s name. The same goes for this world. The deepest fulfillment and joy comes not in freedom from pain, but in glorifying God’s name and to steal John Piper’s famous quote, “God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in him” (and being satisfied in God, will one day lead us to eternity freed from pain and suffering and a present life filled with a role in GOd's mission to redeem all of humanity from the death that sin has trapped us in.

My Savior, My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at his right hand
Stands one who is my savior

I take him at his word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For him to be my savior

That he would leave his place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my savior

My savior loves, my savior lives
My savior's always there for me
My God he was, my God he is
My God he's always gonna be

Yes, living, dying; let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That he who lives to be my king
Once died to be my savior


Be Glorified

Not from sorrow, pain, or care
Freedom dare I claim
This alone shall be my prayer
Glorify thy name

Be glorified in me
Be glorified
Be glorified in me
Be glorified

Can I child presume to choose
where or how to live?
Can a father's love refuse
all the best to give?

Let my glad heart while it sings
Thee in all proclaim
And whatever future brings
Glorify thy name

Romans 8:18-25
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

"The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

For all of you who wanted to participate in the book discussion...here is the link:

http://christianbookdiscussion.blogspot.com/

Matthew 10:16-24

I love reading the Gospels. I love seeing the heart of Christ and thinking about the life he is calling us to. I read this passage of scripture a few days ago and have been chewing on it for a while...

Matthew 10: 16-23 "Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues, and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles. When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death, and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next, for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes."

Jesus tells his disciples that they will be flogged, persecuted, and hated for His name sake. The same God that called for such selfless sacrifice to the point of pain, torture, and death is the same God that calls for disciples to follow Him today.

It makes me wonder why the invitation to follow Christ is often portrayed as an inviation to a life filled with happiness and smooth sailing. Why do we often depict relationship with Christ as this simple, brainless, easy choice? When I think about Christ sharing this with his followers, I do not imagine them thinking this future sounded like the "married with 2 kids, a dog, and a white-picket fence" life they maybe had aspirations for.

Is following Christ an easy choice? It makes so much sense for me. I could write for pages why it makes sense, but it definitely has not been a choice that has always led to the easiest path. And it definitely hasn't been the path of smooth sailing, unending bliss, and constant happiness. It has been a while since I have seen the movie, so my analogy may be a little hazy, but a scene in Patriot comes to mind as I think about this. There is a scene where there are all these people sitting on the side of a hill, under the cool shade of a tree, watching the battle unfold before them. Contrast that to the soldiers fighting, shedding their blood, giving their life for a cause they are passionate about. That is what the Christian life should be more described as. Given the choice to chose between being a part of something that will change history, see justice served, people healed, and lives changed...or to sit on the sidelines...that is an easy choice for me...but the actions are not easy and there will be consequences, wounds, and sacrifices. It would be much easier for my physically body to sit and watch. I would never have to get my heart rate up, I would never have to risk pain or hurt, I would never have to worry about the blood of others splattering on me and getting me messy and dirty. It would be easier to not be a part of it, to not participate...but it would not be the life I would rather live. Christianity is too often depicted as being an audience at a symphony. We can sit together and enjoy the beautiful music, bask in the artist’s work, enjoy the sounds as we sit and listen. Our intended purpose being to take part in producing the song instead becomes the passive enjoyment of a spectator. Unfortunately, the closest many get to taking part of God’s work is in sharp critiques and criticisms of the players, another passive approach to a life where God demands anything but passivity.

We talk about longing for community, but when you get to the heart of what we really want, it isn't for a group of people to get dirty with, to fight with, to pour out our sweat, blood, and tears with, to sacrifice our life for...it is for a group to sit, sip fine wine, and enjoy life with. What kind of Christianity are we offering the world? What kind of salvation are we offering if we are not offering a salvation for the empty, fruitless life they are living right now? Do we really believe following Christ to be something that is worth throwing our entire life into? Our entire family into? Our entire body and mind into? Are we offering the world an invitation to just sit, listen, and enjoy with us? Or are we offering them an opportunity to be a part of something so much greater then sitting on the sidelines or in the stands?

illegal to feed homeless???

what do you think of this article?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14168471/

I read in several other articles that the penalty for feeding homeless in Las Vegas Parks is up to 6 months in jail and a $1000 fine.

My first question is what is the motive in passing this law? Honestly, the cynic in me wants to say these politicians just want to clean up their parks and make them look better...but there is a possibility that they are trying to help the homeless.

The mayor stated that, "What we're trying to do is get the homeless to be fed in a social service environment, within a faith based environment, where there's a social worker, a doctor that puts them on meds, you get them back into society, instead of feeding them and running and leaving them there,"

That sounds great in theory. But the fact is...the United States is filled with chronic homeless people and it is not because churches and Salvation Army's go down there on Saturday mornings and give them break fast. The more I work with the homeless population, the more I realize that there is always going to be a percentage that will never come and use our non-profit, faith based, or government services. I work with youth from 9-21 that are living on the streets. We have many in that age group that are not allowed to use our services for various reasons. I have met homeless youth that have burned their bridges at all the social service programs and youth that have no desire to come in and set up goals and work with case managers. We absolutely need to equip the homeless to help themselves. We need to teach them and help them get off the streets, but what do we do with the percentage that are too mentally ill or too fried on drugs to come into those centers? It is wrong to just feed them and leave them there to be homeless, but it is childish and naive to think that every single homeless person is ready to break away from that life and come, get on meds, and get back into society. We cannot help people that do not want to help themselves, but we can still offer them the basic necessities. What is our duty as a Christian to meet immediate needs as well as long-term? Are we called to only feed those that are hungry if they want to be integrated back into society?

When I read the Mayor's defense I suddenly had images flash through my head of Christians and churches defending this law because it sounds so good. I pray I am wrong. Are we called to only show compassion and kindness to the non-drug attics, the non-lazy, the ones that are desperately trying to get off the streets? No, we are called to meet the needs of those around us...regardless of what their mental state is. I think the church needs to be strategic in how they do that. There probably are too many churches doing feeds on Saturday mornings and then just leaving it at that...there needs to be a balance between meeting immediate needs and deliberately planning long-term ways to help those who are poor get out of their situation.

To think that I could be sitting in a park, hand out some granola bars and juice to a homeless man, and end up having to spend 6 months in jail or pay a $1000 fine is ridiculous. To think that a local church cannot go to their neighborhood park and hand out water bottles on a hot summer day is sickening. I pray the Christian community of Las Vegas passionately gets involved in this. The government of Las Vegas may be trying to help the homeless find more long-term help, but in reality what they are doing is trying to strip away the human right to show compassion and kindness.

From Brokenness to Community

I just finished reading, “From Brokenness to Community” by Jean Vanier. The book was originated from two lectures given by Jean Vanier at Harvard University. It is a very short book, but very thought provoking and challenging. I recommend it to everyone (especially you Rhode Islanders ;)) Here is an excerpt from the book:


“We continually need to have before us the challenge of our mission. We are not in a community just to protect ourselves. We are not even there just to protect our own little spiritual lives. We’re there for the church, for people in pain. We have a message to give, and we have a message to receive. We have a mission, and if we are not a people of mission, then the community is in danger of closing up, and of dying.
Of course for Christians, the greatest becoming is entering into a deeper and more intimate relationship with Christ. It is, finally, a mystical union with God. Perhaps this is the heart of the message of every religion, but it is very much the heart of the Christ. We are called to be a people of freedom because we have received the Holy Spirit, and Jesus is our friend leading us to communion with the father.
Thus community is not an end or a final goal in itself. It is the place where we can meet Christ and discover his love for humanity and for every person. Martin Buber said that the community is the place of the theophany. It is the place where we meet God in a very intimate relationship, where we can have that experience of being “seized by Christ.” God loves us and draws us into the mystery and the love of the Trinity; there we can rest in his love. But community only keeps its meaning if it remains open to mission.”

Ending Hunger Now

I started reading a book tonight called, “Ending Hunger Now” Well…its now 3am in the morning (which…a book has to be pretty good for me to stay up this late) and I just finished it. I really recommend this.

The book is filled with a lot of statistics and facts. Hard facts about hunger that I did not realize. I was going to flip through the pages I earmarked and highlighted so I could post some quotes, but there are just too many good things to chose from. I think that the authors are definitely stretching it with some of their ideas and conclusions, but the concept is great…that it is very possible to cut world hunger in half within the next decade.

I am so tempted to type out a bunch of horrific statistics right now…but we have heard them before. At some point in the book, one of the authors quoted an African woman who says, “Statistic are numbers without tears.”

Hunger is becoming a buzzword in our Christian culture. Caring about famine and disease in Africa, China, and India is becoming very popular. We quote the statistics and discuss global justice. Phrases like “human rights” and “global justice” are being tossed around in our vocabulary. However, ten, fifteen, twenty years from now, I wonder if there will be change? I wonder if our hearts and minds are really grasping this tragic world-crisis and if we are willing to meet this great need.

This book was written for churches to go through as a study and discussion guide. The title sums up the main idea of the book…there is enough food in the world to end hunger now. Accepting that fact really means a life-change for many Americans. If that is the truth, then something drastic has to change for the middle-class and wealthy American. We can’t blame it on God for allowing drought and famine and natural disasters. Famine only accounts for 3% of reasons why people are starving. We can only blame it our disobedience to God. On our sin.

I really want to resist the concept of caring about the poor for popularity and trend sake and really be moved with compassion and move in action toward helping the poor out of a deep obedience to God and a deep understanding of his heart and motives. I am so glad that human rights and global justice is something that the younger generations seem to be talking a lot about, but talk is not going to put food in the stomachs of the hungry. Only action and obedience to what God has commanded us to do will begin to reduce the population of the 850 million people who are going to bed with very empty stomachs.

One of the frustrations I had with this book is that it focuses mainly on policy change and little on how the church can really make a dent in reducing the number of the hungry. I would have liked to have read more practical ideas as to what the church can do as a body to reduce the large number of hungry, but at least it is a short/quick read that can get the community talking…I just hope the result of the talking leads to some sort of creative ideas and action.

What are your thoughts? Please comment… :)

Only Love Remains

I came across this song about a week ago and I have just been listening to it over and over...I typed out the words too, because they are SO powerful, but you can listen to the song here: http://www.myspace.com/jjhellermusic


Only Love Remains
by J.J. Heller

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces that will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die for the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus as you tear me apart

Please kill the liar, kill the thief in my
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breath into my spirit, Breath into my veins
Until only love remains…

You burn away the ropes that bind and hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality for the first time in my life
I know I am a shadow, but I am dancing in Your light


Teach me to be humble, call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breath into my spirit, Breath into my veins Until only love remains…

pictures from alaska...

culture shock?

The question I keep getting asked by everyone is, "Are you experiencing culture shock coming back to the states?"

For the past few weeks I have been answering, "no." In some ways, I was prepared to re-enter my world here. I was looking forward to seeing friends and catching up on life. It was so hard to leave, but I was excited to come home too. It was very bitter-sweet getting back on the plane.

The other question I keep getting asked is, "Is it hard to be back." Up until a few days ago, it hasn't been. But the past few days I have really just been missing my life in Tanzania. I miss the boys so much. I miss the incredible friends that I left behind. I miss working with my team. I miss the pace of life, the culture, hearing swahili, running through the bananna fields, the crazy driving, going into different villages and playing with kids, laying in the grass talking with the Emmanuel Center boys and hearing their laughs, rocking on the swing on the front porch and watching the sun set, the hard rains. I even miss the mud, not knowing if their was going to be electricity when I flipped the switch, not knowing when my next shower might be...

As I sit down to "catch up" with friends and family, I don't know where to begin when talking about my time and experience there. And I don't want to be one of those annoying people that went on a missions trip once and suddenly every story she tells comes back to, "when I was in..."

I am very happy to be home. I see Phoenix with fresh eyes and I have a renewed passion to pour love into the lives of those who need it here. I know that my steps are ordered by God and he has me here, in this moment, for a divine purpose. But God opened up a well of emotions within me while I was in Africa that I didn't know existed and anytime God does that in my life it is always to move me towards action. I guess that is the question right now, what do I do with everything the Lord spoke to me and taught me these last five months?

I talked to my friend John yesterday, he was there with me my entire time. He described his emotions of being home as feeling "restless." Maybe that is a better way to explain how I am feeling. The "restless" feeling doesn't necessarily mean I am packing my bags and going back, but it does mean that God is doing something within me that will require action and change.

one year older...

I said I would never do it, but I did it. I always said only old people wore them and I always wanted to be young at heart, but I am wearing one as I type. Confession...I bought my first watch last week.

I have had them given to me as gifts before, but I have never really gotten in the habbit of wearing one. I remember when I was a kid watching my grandpa take his gold pocket watch out of his coat and checking the time and ever since then I always thought that watches were something grown-ups wore. I remember wanting a watch thinking it would mark me as an "adult" but by the time I was old enough to actually wear one, I think they were out of style. So, up until now, I have claimed that watches were for old people. I have always felt like watches were symbols of being in a hurry, just watching life pass you by. I am not someone who is late to everything, I admit that time is important, but something about actually wearing a watch, constantly looking down to check the time...it has just been something I never wanted to do.

So purchasing and wearing a watch all week was a strange experience. I kind of felt like I was looking in the mirror and finding a few grey hairs or something. I told a friend of mine that is in her 30's that I just don't feel like a grown up...she said she didn't either. So I tried talking to my friend in his 40's...he agreed, at 40, he still felt like he had so much growing to do. My dad is 50...he still feels young, my grandpa is...I don't know how old, but he is younger at heart then I am sometimes. It was just a weird moment to look down at the time and realize, that I was doing just that...watching time tick by and that I really am getting older. (I know this probably sounds a little melodramatic, especially considering how young most of you think I am! ha ha..)

This past year has gone by in lightning speed, yet each moment I feel like I have been able to savor. There were so many times last week, as I stood in the middle of God's breath-taking, incredible creation, that I felt like time stood still. It was as if life was on pause and all that mattered was God's glory and creative heart. But even in those moments where life was on pause for me, I had a greater revelation that time was moving full force and many lives were feeling controlled and abused by it. That all that really does matter is God's glory and heart, but I am surrounded by a world that doesn't really understand or know that. It doesn't matter how slow or fast I feel time may be ticking away, the fact is that time is always in constant motion and there really is so little time to reach the hearts of a hopeless world. I just want to live my life with an urgancy...no matter how young or old I am.

All that being said, I guess the watch has a new symbolic meaning to me...instead of being something that seems to controll life, it is now just a subtle reminder that I am here for a purpose and I need to surrender each moment of my life into God's hands and use it to love him and this world...

"Time is too slow for those who wait

too swift for those who fear

too long for those who grieve,

too short for those who rejoice,

but for those who love, time is eternity.

Hours fly, flowers die,

new days, new ways pass by,

Love stays."

~Henry Van Dyke

home sweet home...

I am back in Arizona. My cousin, Allison, was home for a few weeks visiting, but she was flying back to Mexico a few hours before I flew into Phoenix, so I was not going to be able to see her. So I was able to fly in early and showed up at Starbucks last night to surprise my two girls. :) Our time was too short and went by too fast, but we sat around and shared stories, laughed, prayed and cried together. I am so proud of the direction both of them are headed.

Lauren is graduating next week...I still haven't gotten used to the fact that she is old enough to drive and now she is packing up her bags and driving a cross the country for college (Gordon College). Allison is finnishing up the year in Mexico and then returning to Phoenix to finish her nursing degree. As I sat at the table with them last night and listened to them pour out their hearts, I was just slightly taken a back. They aren't my little sisters anymore needing my advice and protection...they are my partners in crime and this faith in action thing is so much easier when you have two kindred hearts to share it with.

some of our boys....

Meaghan's Blog...

I just read something in Meaghan's last post that started the wheels turning in my head. She was commenting about her thoughts from the book she is reading and how the holy spirit is stirring a passion within her for justice, truth, and love. She was talking about starting a breakfast club in San Francisco and targeting unreached areas. You can read her post here: http://citilove.blogspot.com/2006/04/tuesday.html
I am not sure if I have posted about this scripture before (its possible because I love it so much), but as I read her post it immediately brought my mind to Matthew, chapter 9...the feeding of the five thousand... this might be one of my favorite chapters in the Gospel, because every time I read it I am so moved by the heart of Christ.

Starting in verse 10, Jesus finds out that John, his cousin, friend, the man who baptized him, had been beheaded. He was probably emotionally, physically, and spiritually exaughstead...in Luke the same account talks about how the disciples had just been running non-stop healing people and preaching the gospel. They were tired and they were mourning so Jesus goes to a deserted place to get away, to be alone with his heavenly Father...but the multitudes followed him.

His response in verse 14 is so selfless and makes me fall deeper in love with him every time I read it, "and when he saw a great multitude, he was moved with compassion."

I think that is a place where Christ wants all of us to come...where we can open our eyes, wherever we are, and see the great multitude. His flesh was weak and tired, but his spiritual eyes were still so in tune to the heart of His father and when he looked, he saw thousands and thousands of people who "were like a sheep without a shepherd"...lost. (mark 6:34)

Then...when Jesus sees they are hungry, tells the disciples, "Don't send them away...You give them something to eat..." It is so interesting to me that Jesus didn't just perform the miracle, but he gave the disciples the command first...he wanted them to be the vessels that met the need. He could have easily just performed a miracle and feed the multitude, but I think he wanted to give the disciples the opportunity to do it first. 2000 years later, Jesus is saying the same thing to us..."Don't send them away, you give them something to eat."

Meaghan is living in San Francisco...and she is right, there are probably more food ministries there then anywhere else in the country, but there is still a deep need that is not being met. Are we going to continue to plop some food on these hurting, broken peoples plates and send them away? Or are we going to really give them something to eat...something that once they taste, they will never hunger or thirst again? Justice comes in meeting the physical need out of a deep compassion for their soul...a compassion that produces and action to see those sheep find their shepherd.

lonely...feeling so lonely... :)

Over the last two weeks we have been making trips to the airport to drop off our team...everyone is headed back to the states.

The last three months of working with my team has been such an incredible experience. I had no idea when I came here that I would have such an awesome group of friends to spend my first three months with...God blessed me so much. They have become like family and I am very thankful for the time I had here with them...I would go anywhere in the world with this team. God brought some amazing, life-long friends into my life who have encouraged me in so many ways.

I think my favorite part about our team was watching how God brought such different people together and knit our hearts so we could really work as one. We came to Tanzania on the same day from 7 different places... Arizona, San Fransisco, Detroit, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Wisconnsin, and Louisiana. Each one of the seven of us were so different in personality, culture, future plans, and backgrounds, but we all shared a common love for Jesus and had a desire to see God work in and through us.

About a month into being here, we each took leadership of a different area of ministry, but still worked as a team to do each thing. As I look back on everything I am in awe of all that God did...here are some highlights...

1. Becky-

Becky organized all of our hospital ministry. We went into the local hospital and visited and prayed with different paitents. Every time I went to the hospitals God did something in my heart...especially when we went to the children's ward.

I wish I could put into words what I saw with my eyes during one of those visits. I realized in an entirely new way how God's heart must break everytime he sees what has happened as a result of man's decision to break relationship with Him. God knows the physical pain that those children, literally dying in those beds, are feeling and he knows the emotional pain that the mothers are feeling as they cry out to Him for a miracle... God created this world to be so perfect, but it has been so corrupted by sin. And then God has offered his Son to reconcile and make all broken things whole, but we still chose to live a part from Him. Being in those rooms taught me so much about the heart of God and really opened up an entirely new attributes that I never realized or noticed about my God to fall in love with.

2. John-

John organized all of our village ministry/outreaches. We spent a few days camping out in a Masai village. That was such a great time. We also did a children's outreach in the Njoro area (I cannot wait to show you all some pictures from that, it was great.) and evangelism in two different villages on thursday nights.

3. Meaghan
Meaghan ran all the drama (and caused it all too...ha ha, just joking Meggie Mapes) I could say so much about Meaghan, she is so talented and gifted. I am sure that the boys at the Emmanuel Center will never forget the time we spent there. They loved the dramas that Meaghan came up with and they did such a great job performing them. Some of them were involved in a drama we did as an outreach and they were all a part of "Daniel and the Lion's Den." My absolute favorite thing I have done since I have been here has been hanging out at the Emmanuel center with those boys.

4. Heather-

Heather was in charge of worship and helped Meaghan with drama. We went to the Emmanuel Center every week and taught the boys songs and dramas. It was so much fun for us and the boys at the center absolutely loved it.

5. Christian
Christian organized the ministry we did in the elementary schools. We went to sevearl schools a week (I have some pictures in a previous post) and we did Bible lessons, dramas, object illustrations, and songs with the kids. It was so much fun and this was probably where our team spent the most time...between this and the high schools. (I organized the ministry we did with the high schools. We had so many awesome opportunities to speak to hundereds of high school students about all of our testimonies and what God has done in our lives).

6. Scott--

Scott organized an International English Fellowship. I did not realize before I came here how many college student age people would be here from all over the world. There were many Europeans here serving on their gap year, interning in the hospitals, and volunteering with different orginazations. There were also several Peace Corps volunteers. We met once a week for a bible study/fellowship time and I know that God definitely moved on hearts. If I were living here full time, this would definitely be something I would want to do. It is a huge opportunity to reach people from all over the world who have never really tasted authentic Christianity.

in Kenya...

I am in Nirobe, Kenya right now. My visa expired in Tanzania...so that was a good excuse for a road-trip to Kenya so I can stay one more month in Tanzania. I am in a little bit of culture shock being here. In many ways, I feel like I am back in an American city. There are coffee shops (I had my first cup of coffe in 3 months two days ago...it was wonderful!), malls, book stores, lots of trafic, and almost everyone speaks English. Life here is very different from the life I have been living back in Moshi. I found myself yesterday just looking around the city and seeing all the business taking place and thinking, "this is such a wealthy city."

But that is far from the reality. One of the largest slums in the world is right in my backyard here in Nirobe...over one million people live in this slum. There are thousands of street children, orphans, and aids victums here...but, because of everything else I am looking at, it is easy to not think about it. Thinking about all of this made me realize how I can do this so easily in the spitirual realm. How often do I walk through life distracted by the initial impression of wealth and suceess, failing to see the pain and death right behind me? It is a choice humanity makes. We choose to ignore the pain and suffering and focus on what looks good and pretty.

Matthew 24 comes to mind, where Jesus tells his disciples to "Stay Awake"...because they wouldn't know the day or hour he was coming. I can almost hear the urgency in Jesus voice as he passionately compels the disciples not to waste time sleeping...there is a dying world out there that needs the truth.

Zanzibar

I can scratch something off my "to-do" list...last week I had the amazing blessing of sticking my feet in the Indian ocean. We took a trip to Zanzibar, an island off the coast of Tanzania. In case any of you didn't know...I absolutely love my life. This year has just been filled with so many blessings from God.

Zanzibar was incredible. The water was so blue, the beaches were beautiful, and the time of fellowship with everyone was wonderful. But my first day in Zanzibar really just broke my heart once again for the Muslim world. The island is 97 percent Muslim, 1 percent Hindu, and 2 percent Christian. In Stonetown (the place we stayed the first day) there are 2500 buildings, 45 of them are Mosques and only 2 of those buildings are churches...one Anglican, and one Catholic church. There are 1 million people on this island...that means that 980,000 of them believe that Allah is the way to salvation and who knows what sort of understanding the rest of the people have about relationship with God.

It just makes me sad to see with my eyes how many people have no idea that they cannot earn their way to heaven. They live under such oppression and hatred, not understanding the freedom and love that comes in surrendering your life to Christ.

We spent our first day in Stonetown going through different places that were involved in the slave trades. I stood in a place where human beings were beaten, auctioned, sold, and torn from their families. I cannot even imagine the sounds that must have come from that square and the complete terror and pain that was experienced by so many.

The saddest thing to me, was that these "colonialist" were from Europe and America...both "Christian" places. I heard a story about a woman who remembered looking from the top of a hill down at her village, seeing it burn before her eyes in flames, and her mother saying to her, "look at that white man with the cross around his neck...whenever you see him, run, because he will take you away from us."

I know that those "colonialist" really were not followers of Christ. It just shows me once again how many people go through the religious motions of Christianity without ever understanding and knowing the heartbeat of Christ.

Men and women who had full access to the gospel at their hands came and went from that island, leaving devastation behind them...and now all this time has gone by, and Zanzibar is still a Godless place. I am praying for the Lord to really move on that island and just captivate the people's hearts with his light and truth.

Mt. Kilimanjaro

I just spent the past week hiking to the top of Mt. Kili. It was one of the most amazing weeks of my life. Every day I had hours and hours to just look and wonder at God's incredible creation. I wish I could put into words how beautiful it was...

When I was in Phoenix, my pastor gave a message about sacrifice. One of the illustrations he gave was about climbing a mountain and he challenged everyone to, "live where it is hard to breath." He went on to explain how when you are at the top of that mountain, it can be so difficult to breath because of the altitude. Even though it can be so difficult to breath, that is the place that God wants to bring us, but it doesn't come without sacrifice. I had that analogy in mind the entire way up the mountain and the Lord really spoke to me throughout the week about climbing spiritual mountains.

I realized as I was hiking up that there have been many times in life when we use the word "valley" to describe where we are spiritually, when in reality...just because we are struggling, does not always mean we are in a valley at all. The last day that we went to the peak, each and every step became so difficult. It took us about 7 hours to go less then 3 miles, but because we were so high and had so little oxygen, we had to hike so slow. I realized while I was hiking that I always say I want to run this race that God has called me to with all that I have and in my head, running that race means constantly going at sprinting speed. For me, anything less then a sprint has always meant failure. But I realized yesterday that there will be many times in my life that I cannot run with a sprint...There will be times where I feel like I am going so slow, barely moving, unable to see any progress with my minds eye, but that very well may be because God is calling me to a new peak, a new place where he can reveal himself in an entirely new way and expose me to an entirely new place to share His love. There will be times where God will ask us to sacrifice our plans and dreams and just follow him up to the top and trust Him completely that He knows where and why He is leading us there.

There were times throughout the week that the peak...our destination was covered by storm clouds. I know that there are seasons of life where every step is so difficult, every step makes us loose our breath, and we look up to see the final destination, but it is just too cloudy to see...and some times, it is too cloudy to see even ten steps in front of you. But because God has revealed that peak to us long before the clouds ever came, we have to continue to step forward in faith. The storm clouds will eventually clear, maybe only momentarily, but they will clear long enough for you to see that peak again and know in your heart where He is bringing you.

The last few days of hiking, because of the elevation, we had no appetite or desire to drink water. In those same seasons that are so difficult and painful, sometimes we loose all appetite for spiritual things. It can become difficult to seek God, to pray, and to hear His voice...but in order to make it to that point, we could not wait until our bodies began to crave food and water, it would have been too late...we just had to drink and eat. The same thing goes for us spiritually. I know that in some of those places you may feel so distant and so far from where you once were in your relationship with God, but don't give up...continue to seek him, you are on your way to an incredible place.

At some point on the hike to the summit, the guide turned around and saw that I was falling behind. He just told me to stay with him, to just follow closely behind him and follow his steps completely. When I forced myself to focus on the steps the guide was taking and not on how exaughted I was--it imeadiately became so much easier. As I listened to him tell me that I just thought of 1 Peter 2:21, "to this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, that you should follow in His steps."

Okay...one more analogy. :) In the last few hours of hiking, it was practically impossible to speak. You literally had to plan out each and every word you were going to say. My friend that hiked it with me kept making a point to encourage me...little phrases every few minutes to let me know that I was doing good and that he was confident that I could make it. He made his hike so much more difficult and risked possibly not even making it just to encourage me and make my steps a little bit easier. That is so how the community of Christ should be and the type of friend I want to be. We were not meant to make that climb alone, God has placed people in our life to encourage and help us along the way. And there are people all around us that we need to be willing to risk everything and sacrifice our own comforts in order to help them make that next step.

I just wanted to share that with everyone. I know it doesn't really flow so well together, but thanks for taking the time to read it. I will post pictures soon!

some safari pictures

here are some pictures from our Safari. Unfortunately, I haven't had time yet to download my favorite pictures to the computer yet. But these are some good ones too... here is the lodge we stayed at...our rooms over looked the crator, it was breathtaking.


I love this picture...this camera isn't on zoom (i don't think it is anyway)...we were SO close we could have reached out and pet the lions. :)

Our team has been going into elementary schools and teaching bible lessons. The public schools here are very open to us coming and speaking to their students.
Louis with the kids...
"David" kills Goliath... :)

My Valentine's Day dates (its funny...V-day was a much bigger holiday here then in the States, so for all you cynics who thought Halmark invented it, it seems to be a world-wide day of love!))

here are some pictures... :)

Gaudenzia and Emmanuel...
Kelvin and Emmanuel E...
Noella and Enoch...
This is my team for most of the time that I am here. It has been such a blessing to have them here...we are having a great time together. :)

here is a picture from my backyard... :) The picture doesn't do it justice.