In my last
post, I wrote, "I am not so sure what I am going to do with it yet...I just know that the Lord is moving me, more every day, into a place where I am sickened by how much I spend on self and comfort." Well, it has been a week now since I saw Pastor Modekai's face and my thoughts and conversations have been consumed with what I am going to do.
The concept of giving and blessings just seem so backward to me (at least the way I have always heard it taught in church and Christian circles)...
Why do we always say, "give and the Lord will bless you?" or, "if you give abundantly you will receive abundantly?" This is the question that keeps running through my head, "how much more do we want God to bless us financially?" I mean, the American living off of minimum wage is rich compared to the third world...they are struggling, but they are still blessed.
Give more to be blessed more? I don't think Christ intended for my giving to be about me. What about give more because God can use it to reach the hearts and souls of people? Or give more because kids in Honduras are dying from a bug bite that would be prevented if they had a tin roof on their houses? Or because a $7 bottle of medicine would cure millions from a disease that causes blindness? What about give more because millions are dying from AIDS, malaria, drought, and famine?
I keep asking myself, "Why have I conformed to the mindset that I should be striving for more things?" Why do we work our entire lives to live "more comfortably?" What is wrong with living comfortably...why do we need more? (I know the answer to that is sin, pride, but it seems like materialism has become an idol that is turning our hearts to everything but God)
The rich ruler came to Jesus and asked, "What else can I do?" Sell it all, give to the poor, and follow me. Who do you think the rich ruler is?
I am. Working at starbucks part time...in America, that is nothing, but to the world, I am wealthy beyond belief. So what else can I do, beyond what I am already doing, to follow Christ?
Sell it. Give it. Follow.
I have often justified my pull to materialism by saying it is okay to enjoy the excess, because God has blessed me to enjoy it...and while there may be some truth to that, there is a line that is crossed where we begin to glorify ourselves rather then God through possessions.
I know that this might seem like I am being extreme. I am not saying we should live below poverty. I am typing this just after I finished drinking my $2.oo starbucks cup of coffee, but I can't stop asking myself these questions because of what I might need to give up. There has to be a balance. What is it? Maybe the church is living way above her means...or right in line with her means, when she could be living way below her means. Please understand that I am not pointing fingers or being judgemental...I am simply asking, "what is the balance?" and "are we living it?"
I know the answer for me is that I am out of balance. I fear to think about how out of balance because I don't want to give up my toys. What if God is calling some of us to radically change our spending habbits and what we spend our money on? What if he is calling some of us to give up something as small as our dish network/ tivo or something as large as downsizing our house? Am I really willing to think, pray, and challenge myself as to what God wants me to do? How radically can I and will I live?
Just the thoughts going through my head...please share what your thoughts are...
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