From Brokenness to Community

I just finished reading, “From Brokenness to Community” by Jean Vanier. The book was originated from two lectures given by Jean Vanier at Harvard University. It is a very short book, but very thought provoking and challenging. I recommend it to everyone (especially you Rhode Islanders ;)) Here is an excerpt from the book:


“We continually need to have before us the challenge of our mission. We are not in a community just to protect ourselves. We are not even there just to protect our own little spiritual lives. We’re there for the church, for people in pain. We have a message to give, and we have a message to receive. We have a mission, and if we are not a people of mission, then the community is in danger of closing up, and of dying.
Of course for Christians, the greatest becoming is entering into a deeper and more intimate relationship with Christ. It is, finally, a mystical union with God. Perhaps this is the heart of the message of every religion, but it is very much the heart of the Christ. We are called to be a people of freedom because we have received the Holy Spirit, and Jesus is our friend leading us to communion with the father.
Thus community is not an end or a final goal in itself. It is the place where we can meet Christ and discover his love for humanity and for every person. Martin Buber said that the community is the place of the theophany. It is the place where we meet God in a very intimate relationship, where we can have that experience of being “seized by Christ.” God loves us and draws us into the mystery and the love of the Trinity; there we can rest in his love. But community only keeps its meaning if it remains open to mission.”

Ending Hunger Now

I started reading a book tonight called, “Ending Hunger Now” Well…its now 3am in the morning (which…a book has to be pretty good for me to stay up this late) and I just finished it. I really recommend this.

The book is filled with a lot of statistics and facts. Hard facts about hunger that I did not realize. I was going to flip through the pages I earmarked and highlighted so I could post some quotes, but there are just too many good things to chose from. I think that the authors are definitely stretching it with some of their ideas and conclusions, but the concept is great…that it is very possible to cut world hunger in half within the next decade.

I am so tempted to type out a bunch of horrific statistics right now…but we have heard them before. At some point in the book, one of the authors quoted an African woman who says, “Statistic are numbers without tears.”

Hunger is becoming a buzzword in our Christian culture. Caring about famine and disease in Africa, China, and India is becoming very popular. We quote the statistics and discuss global justice. Phrases like “human rights” and “global justice” are being tossed around in our vocabulary. However, ten, fifteen, twenty years from now, I wonder if there will be change? I wonder if our hearts and minds are really grasping this tragic world-crisis and if we are willing to meet this great need.

This book was written for churches to go through as a study and discussion guide. The title sums up the main idea of the book…there is enough food in the world to end hunger now. Accepting that fact really means a life-change for many Americans. If that is the truth, then something drastic has to change for the middle-class and wealthy American. We can’t blame it on God for allowing drought and famine and natural disasters. Famine only accounts for 3% of reasons why people are starving. We can only blame it our disobedience to God. On our sin.

I really want to resist the concept of caring about the poor for popularity and trend sake and really be moved with compassion and move in action toward helping the poor out of a deep obedience to God and a deep understanding of his heart and motives. I am so glad that human rights and global justice is something that the younger generations seem to be talking a lot about, but talk is not going to put food in the stomachs of the hungry. Only action and obedience to what God has commanded us to do will begin to reduce the population of the 850 million people who are going to bed with very empty stomachs.

One of the frustrations I had with this book is that it focuses mainly on policy change and little on how the church can really make a dent in reducing the number of the hungry. I would have liked to have read more practical ideas as to what the church can do as a body to reduce the large number of hungry, but at least it is a short/quick read that can get the community talking…I just hope the result of the talking leads to some sort of creative ideas and action.

What are your thoughts? Please comment… :)

Only Love Remains

I came across this song about a week ago and I have just been listening to it over and over...I typed out the words too, because they are SO powerful, but you can listen to the song here: http://www.myspace.com/jjhellermusic


Only Love Remains
by J.J. Heller

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces that will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die for the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus as you tear me apart

Please kill the liar, kill the thief in my
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breath into my spirit, Breath into my veins
Until only love remains…

You burn away the ropes that bind and hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality for the first time in my life
I know I am a shadow, but I am dancing in Your light


Teach me to be humble, call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breath into my spirit, Breath into my veins Until only love remains…

pictures from alaska...

culture shock?

The question I keep getting asked by everyone is, "Are you experiencing culture shock coming back to the states?"

For the past few weeks I have been answering, "no." In some ways, I was prepared to re-enter my world here. I was looking forward to seeing friends and catching up on life. It was so hard to leave, but I was excited to come home too. It was very bitter-sweet getting back on the plane.

The other question I keep getting asked is, "Is it hard to be back." Up until a few days ago, it hasn't been. But the past few days I have really just been missing my life in Tanzania. I miss the boys so much. I miss the incredible friends that I left behind. I miss working with my team. I miss the pace of life, the culture, hearing swahili, running through the bananna fields, the crazy driving, going into different villages and playing with kids, laying in the grass talking with the Emmanuel Center boys and hearing their laughs, rocking on the swing on the front porch and watching the sun set, the hard rains. I even miss the mud, not knowing if their was going to be electricity when I flipped the switch, not knowing when my next shower might be...

As I sit down to "catch up" with friends and family, I don't know where to begin when talking about my time and experience there. And I don't want to be one of those annoying people that went on a missions trip once and suddenly every story she tells comes back to, "when I was in..."

I am very happy to be home. I see Phoenix with fresh eyes and I have a renewed passion to pour love into the lives of those who need it here. I know that my steps are ordered by God and he has me here, in this moment, for a divine purpose. But God opened up a well of emotions within me while I was in Africa that I didn't know existed and anytime God does that in my life it is always to move me towards action. I guess that is the question right now, what do I do with everything the Lord spoke to me and taught me these last five months?

I talked to my friend John yesterday, he was there with me my entire time. He described his emotions of being home as feeling "restless." Maybe that is a better way to explain how I am feeling. The "restless" feeling doesn't necessarily mean I am packing my bags and going back, but it does mean that God is doing something within me that will require action and change.

one year older...

I said I would never do it, but I did it. I always said only old people wore them and I always wanted to be young at heart, but I am wearing one as I type. Confession...I bought my first watch last week.

I have had them given to me as gifts before, but I have never really gotten in the habbit of wearing one. I remember when I was a kid watching my grandpa take his gold pocket watch out of his coat and checking the time and ever since then I always thought that watches were something grown-ups wore. I remember wanting a watch thinking it would mark me as an "adult" but by the time I was old enough to actually wear one, I think they were out of style. So, up until now, I have claimed that watches were for old people. I have always felt like watches were symbols of being in a hurry, just watching life pass you by. I am not someone who is late to everything, I admit that time is important, but something about actually wearing a watch, constantly looking down to check the time...it has just been something I never wanted to do.

So purchasing and wearing a watch all week was a strange experience. I kind of felt like I was looking in the mirror and finding a few grey hairs or something. I told a friend of mine that is in her 30's that I just don't feel like a grown up...she said she didn't either. So I tried talking to my friend in his 40's...he agreed, at 40, he still felt like he had so much growing to do. My dad is 50...he still feels young, my grandpa is...I don't know how old, but he is younger at heart then I am sometimes. It was just a weird moment to look down at the time and realize, that I was doing just that...watching time tick by and that I really am getting older. (I know this probably sounds a little melodramatic, especially considering how young most of you think I am! ha ha..)

This past year has gone by in lightning speed, yet each moment I feel like I have been able to savor. There were so many times last week, as I stood in the middle of God's breath-taking, incredible creation, that I felt like time stood still. It was as if life was on pause and all that mattered was God's glory and creative heart. But even in those moments where life was on pause for me, I had a greater revelation that time was moving full force and many lives were feeling controlled and abused by it. That all that really does matter is God's glory and heart, but I am surrounded by a world that doesn't really understand or know that. It doesn't matter how slow or fast I feel time may be ticking away, the fact is that time is always in constant motion and there really is so little time to reach the hearts of a hopeless world. I just want to live my life with an urgancy...no matter how young or old I am.

All that being said, I guess the watch has a new symbolic meaning to me...instead of being something that seems to controll life, it is now just a subtle reminder that I am here for a purpose and I need to surrender each moment of my life into God's hands and use it to love him and this world...

"Time is too slow for those who wait

too swift for those who fear

too long for those who grieve,

too short for those who rejoice,

but for those who love, time is eternity.

Hours fly, flowers die,

new days, new ways pass by,

Love stays."

~Henry Van Dyke

home sweet home...

I am back in Arizona. My cousin, Allison, was home for a few weeks visiting, but she was flying back to Mexico a few hours before I flew into Phoenix, so I was not going to be able to see her. So I was able to fly in early and showed up at Starbucks last night to surprise my two girls. :) Our time was too short and went by too fast, but we sat around and shared stories, laughed, prayed and cried together. I am so proud of the direction both of them are headed.

Lauren is graduating next week...I still haven't gotten used to the fact that she is old enough to drive and now she is packing up her bags and driving a cross the country for college (Gordon College). Allison is finnishing up the year in Mexico and then returning to Phoenix to finish her nursing degree. As I sat at the table with them last night and listened to them pour out their hearts, I was just slightly taken a back. They aren't my little sisters anymore needing my advice and protection...they are my partners in crime and this faith in action thing is so much easier when you have two kindred hearts to share it with.