just some thoughts...

“The world is perishing for lack of the knowledge of God and the Church is famishing for want of His presence. The instant cure of most of our religious ills would be to enter the Presence in spiritual experience, to become suddenly aware that we are in God and God is in us. This would lift us out of our pitiful narrowness and cause our hearts to be enlarged. This would burn away the impurities from our lives as the bugs and fungi were burned away by the fire that dwelt in the bush.”

-A.W. Tozer

I read that in “The Pursuit of God” a few weeks ago and the words keep coming up in conversation and discussion about the church. It seems like Christians all around me are famished for God’s presence and I think A.W. Tozer’s observations hit the nail on the head. What if we entered into spiritual experience? What if w truly understood that we are in God and God is in us. How would that change the way we live our daily lives? How would it change the way we view and serve this world?

It seems like the topic of conversation the past few weeks in my circle has been, “works”. “Works can’t save you” and “you can’t earn your salvation” are concepts the church wants to make sure their congregation really understands. Here is an analogy I have kind of been imaging up in my head as I have been listening to people…imagine your relationship with your spouse. What if you took out the trash, tucked your kids into bed at night, did the dishes, sat and listened to your wife share their feelings/ frustrations, and even kissed them goodbye in the morning because it made you a “good husband/wife”. What if your only purpose in doing all those things were to live up to the standard of what a “good spouse” was, but you had no desire to do it out of your love for the person? You would quickly become burned out and feel a lack of love in your life. That is the equivalent to “doing” just for the sake of “doing” what God requires of you. But what if you did the same things in your relationship with your spouse, not because you had to, but because you deeply loved the person and wanted to pour out as much of your love into their life as possible? The actions might look the same, but the heart would be different. One person is burned out by the action and the other is energized by the action.
I think that is one of the differences between the average Christian wandering through life famishing for God’s presence and one walking through knowing they are in God and God is in them. I really believe a lot of entering into God’s presence and an intimate relationship with Christ has to do with our understanding of what that means…to be aware that God in us means we share his heart…and God’s heart beats for people. He has an intense love for them I believe he wants to pour into our hearts…if the world is perishing for a lack of knowledge of God then I need to do a better job of knowing God so I can share Him with them.

I wish I could do something greater then donate money to help with this disaster...lives are in shambles right now...I just pray that God moves on our hearts and there are people who can go help minster to hearts and lives. Here are some great ways to help a little...

World Vision
Red Cross

I want to continue the train of thought from my last post. You know, my heart and mind seems to be maxed out as far as understanding as much as I possibly can the great need in this world. There are so many physical needs not being met...and while I am so passionate about being an active participant in doing something, anything to at least help a few...I want to make sure that it is ALL being driven out of my desire to meet their spiritual needs.
When I look at pictures, hear stories, and think about lives that are destroyed through this disaster...and lives all over the world that are hopelessly struggling just to survive, something inside of me wants to change that. But it is almost easy to get passionate about that and get on a soap box about being wasteful physically and being so selfishly materialistic and ignore the even GREATER tragedy...being wasteful spiritually. I want to be able to look into the hearts of all those around me and have the same compassion on them that I have for children in Africa or Asia. They are starving spiritually. In some ways it is a little more difficult...because it is harder to see the need...but I pray that my eyes are constantly open and my heart always sensitive to know the need spiritually.

Finding the Balance...

In my last post, I wrote, "I am not so sure what I am going to do with it yet...I just know that the Lord is moving me, more every day, into a place where I am sickened by how much I spend on self and comfort." Well, it has been a week now since I saw Pastor Modekai's face and my thoughts and conversations have been consumed with what I am going to do.

The concept of giving and blessings just seem so backward to me (at least the way I have always heard it taught in church and Christian circles)...

Why do we always say, "give and the Lord will bless you?" or, "if you give abundantly you will receive abundantly?" This is the question that keeps running through my head, "how much more do we want God to bless us financially?" I mean, the American living off of minimum wage is rich compared to the third world...they are struggling, but they are still blessed.

Give more to be blessed more? I don't think Christ intended for my giving to be about me. What about give more because God can use it to reach the hearts and souls of people? Or give more because kids in Honduras are dying from a bug bite that would be prevented if they had a tin roof on their houses? Or because a $7 bottle of medicine would cure millions from a disease that causes blindness? What about give more because millions are dying from AIDS, malaria, drought, and famine?

I keep asking myself, "Why have I conformed to the mindset that I should be striving for more things?" Why do we work our entire lives to live "more comfortably?" What is wrong with living comfortably...why do we need more? (I know the answer to that is sin, pride, but it seems like materialism has become an idol that is turning our hearts to everything but God)

The rich ruler came to Jesus and asked, "What else can I do?" Sell it all, give to the poor, and follow me. Who do you think the rich ruler is?

I am. Working at starbucks part time...in America, that is nothing, but to the world, I am wealthy beyond belief. So what else can I do, beyond what I am already doing, to follow Christ?

Sell it. Give it. Follow.

I have often justified my pull to materialism by saying it is okay to enjoy the excess, because God has blessed me to enjoy it...and while there may be some truth to that, there is a line that is crossed where we begin to glorify ourselves rather then God through possessions.

I know that this might seem like I am being extreme. I am not saying we should live below poverty. I am typing this just after I finished drinking my $2.oo starbucks cup of coffee, but I can't stop asking myself these questions because of what I might need to give up. There has to be a balance. What is it? Maybe the church is living way above her means...or right in line with her means, when she could be living way below her means. Please understand that I am not pointing fingers or being judgemental...I am simply asking, "what is the balance?" and "are we living it?"

I know the answer for me is that I am out of balance. I fear to think about how out of balance because I don't want to give up my toys. What if God is calling some of us to radically change our spending habbits and what we spend our money on? What if he is calling some of us to give up something as small as our dish network/ tivo or something as large as downsizing our house? Am I really willing to think, pray, and challenge myself as to what God wants me to do? How radically can I and will I live?

Just the thoughts going through my head...please share what your thoughts are...

their food, our toys...

Pastor Mordekai has been staying at our house this past week. He has been going through the phone book, calling pastors, asking them if he can come meet with them and share his story. We were at a church this past week in Fountain Hills that was serving and reaching out into their community in great ways...the pastor had such a tender heart. They were giving us a tour of their preschool when we came across a room with rice all over the floor.

Pastor Mordekai looked at the room with a very confused look on his face. His eyes wandered to a table...filled with rice and toys. "Is this a toy?" he asked the pastor, stunned. The pastor replied with an I-know-what-you-are-thinking, "yes". Pastor Mordekai lost it...his eyes filled up with tears and a look of pain came acros his face. He just groaned and paused, then said..."You Americans..." he continued to stare at the table filled with rice. "In the villages in my country...this is their food. Their only food. The children, the families, only have enough to eat twice, maybe three time a week. And your children are playing with it...throwing it all over the floor. Ughh...you Americans."

He wasn't disgusted, he wasn't angry...but I think his heart hurt...as did mine...as did the pastors. I haven't been able to get the facial expression he made out of my head or heart all week... I am not so sure what I am going to do with it yet...I just know that the Lord is moving me, more every day, into a place where I am sickened by how much I spend on self and comfort.

On those lines...if you haven't read Dale's post and article about the 600 million children living in poverty...please take the time to read it.

Back in Arizona...

I am back in sunny Arizona...I think I missed most of the heat...it is still warm, but cool enough to enjoy being outdoors! As much as I miss the cool weather and amazing people back east, it is nice to be home too (and out of the car!).

Brooke and I had a crazy week driving across country...it was so much fun. New York City and Chicago are both awesome places, but the atmosphere of the two were both so different. It was so much fun to see the difference between the two cities. Not just the physical difference, but the difference in personalities, paces, and style. Chicago as a whole was so much more laid back then New York...but both places were fun and we met some great people during our travels (In case ya'll didn't already know this...Brooke is a people magnent).

I think the biggest shocker for the week was Kansas City. I never imagined there being such a big inner city in Missouri. I saw more homeless people in the one day I was in Kansas City then in the three days I was in New York and Chicago combined. But it was so encouraging...I was able to meet the pastors of Brook's church, Solomon's Porch, and it was incredible to me how much they are giving to the community. They are feeding the homeless, providing clothes, food, shelter, day care for single moms, a youth center for the kids and teens to hang out in after school and on weekends...but most of all they are pouring out an incredible amount of God's unconditional love. I could have sat and listened to those pastors talk forever about their passion for reaching Kansas City. I love seeing how God is moving the entire body of Christ to meet the needs of this world. Dale, I love what you said in your comment on my last post, "I do think there is something in the kingdom of God that causes the spread of His people. I don't think it an accident that the apostles didn't die in a group but alone and on mission." I love when...on my journey...I am able to cross paths for even a short while and meet people who are, "on mission"...just reminds, encourages, and empowers me to stay on mine.

See you on the field...

You know the sports movies where the team is in this high-tention game...they take a quick time out...regroup, restrategize, then come back and give it their all and win the game? That is kind of what I felt this summer was like. I was extermely blessed to meet some amazing people who live their life like they are in the last 30-seconds of the game. When I talk with my new friends and my wonderful family, it is not like talking to a bunch of people sitting on the side-lines, critiquing the performance of the players...they are the players, and they are passionately pouring their hearts, bodies, and souls into this world. My friends and family here are not philosophers. They don't sit around and ponder how life could be better. They are strategizers. They gather together, swap war stories, and plan the next move. Every time you see them...they have taken new ground.

So, I am leaving in a few hours to drive back across the country... I didn't know it was possible to fall in love with so many people so quickly. I look forward to hearing all about the amazing things that happens in and through each and every one of you. Each of you encouraged me to live a more missional life in a unique and wonderful way. Thank you.

The most exciting thing that happened this week had to be the time I was able to spend with my grandfather...

Victor, my grandfather, has been one of the closest and dearest people to my heart for my entire life. Although he is not a Christian, he has been one of the most influential people in my life spiritually. e is not a hard person about anything in life, except God (of course he picks the most important decision of his life the thing worth being stubborn on). But even though he does not believe in God, God has used him in my life greatly to give me a burden for those who do not have a relationship with Him. I could write pages about what my grandfather has taught me spiritually without ever trying, but that will have to be a different post.

My grandpa lives very close to me in Arizona and for as long as I have been alive I have been praying for him and sharing with him every chance I get about what life is like with a relationship with Jesus. He is always so hard when I bring it up...he will go off about how when he moved to Rhode Island from Honduras the church in town that had the only private school refused to let his daughters in because the were Hispanic. Or he will tell stories about how his father abandoned him and his twin brother was shot while they were hunting together as teenagers—and how could there be a God who would allow pain? We have had hundreds, maybe thousands of conversations of him just pouring out his heart, his hard heart about why God cannot and does not exist. I have often driven home feeling so hopeless and not being able to see any possible way that he would surrender his life to the Lord...I knew it would take a miracle.

Well...I started praying for a miracle when I was at a kids camp in 3rd grade...so about 13 years ago and the week in Honduras was the first glimpse of an answered prayer. When we got to my grandfather’s nephew’s house in San Pedro Sula we all sat around a table and everyone immediately began to share stories. Come to find out, both of my grandfather’s nephews are Christians and my grandfather’s father became a Christian in the later years of his life. Christ changed his life and he stopped drinking and actually raised my grandpa’s nephew’s when their father abandoned them. At the beginning of the week, my grandpa just shrugged it off and made comments like, “na...he was a drunk” but by the end of the week he was telling us story after story through teary eyes about how many good memories he had of his father.

I was sitting at one of my grandpa’s nephew’s houses and they began to share a poem with my grandpa that his father had written shortly before he died. Victor was translating it from Spanish into English for me and he was so choked up he couldn’t finish it. I am going to post the poem in a week or so once I have it completely translated, but a few lines from the poem that I remember were—

Who is this God? This amazing being?
Who can make an egg into a bird
A worm into a butterfly
A lost and soul into a beautiful child?

On the plane ride home I realized that I have developed a poor misconception of God’s love over the years...

I always heard it said and believed it whole heartedly that if we continue to harden our hearts that God will at some point stop drawing us to Him. I have heard it used in altar calls and evangelistic services and while I am sure there is some truth to that, I think it has been taken out of context. God is love. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love always hopes. Love always perseveres. Love endures all things. Love always protects. God’s love is never ending and unfailing. In the past I have often prayed, “Father, I know he has hardened his heart so many times....but please still draw him to you.” As I watched God so intentionally pursue my Grandfather’s heart during that week, I realized that there is nothing that can separate us from God’s love. Eight years old or eighty years old, saint or murderer, God’s love will continue to pursue our hearts and call out to us until the day we die.