I have been a mom for a little over three months and it has been such a life changing experience. I was reflecting today on what the Lord has done in the lives of our children since we first met them and I couldn't help but praise God for how powerfully he has revealed his love to me though my little girl and little boy.
Anyone who has met Mya, our four year old, becomes instantly aware that she has a strong and wonderful personality. She loves being the center of attention, loves making people laugh, and loves saying things that you would hear out of the mouth of a teenager.
After living with us every weekend for three months, Mya and Niko moved in full time at the beginning of April. We told them when we first began taking care of them on the weekends, that we were going to become their new mommy and daddy, but we never told them what to call us. Since we had such a long/strange "in-transition" stage where we weren't their parents, but were trying to be...we figured they were confused and when the dust settled, would instinctively know what to call us.
Niko and Mya instantly called Vermon "daddy." It was so precious to hear and I loved seeing Vermon's big smile every time they heard it...it didn't go so quickly with me. I figured, with their history, it would take longer to start calling me "mom," but knew it would happen. Even though I was slightly jealous of Vermon, I figured, even mother of infants don't get to hear themselves called mom for almost a year--and even then, for some reason, "da da" is among babies first words.
The journey of becoming "Mommy" went something like this...
Mya would be having a tantrum and I would be disciplining her, explaining her sin and hard heart and her need for Jesus. "You'll NNNNNEEEEEEVVVVVEEEERRR be my mommy!" She would scream at the top of her lungs.
Later in the day, Vermon would home, "Daddy!" and then she'd look over at me and stick her hand on her hip and say, "he's my daddy! You're not my mommy!"
Other times we would be playing dolls or with stuffed animals and she would "make-believe" I was her mommy...and giggle or laugh every time she called me it, but made sure to tell me it was just a game. She wanted to test it out, but wasn't ready to commit.
"Dennae" she would say, "yes, daughter" "You can be my mommy yesterday (she mixes up yesterday and tomorrow)" I would gently explain that I already am her mommy, just like God wants to be our father, whether we realize it or not.
Our entire first month and a half was like this. I knew Mya desperately wanted a mommy, she longed to call me mommy and longed to belong to me. She would desperately want me to hold her, but would resist asking me with every bone in her body. I could see the turmoil within her.
Then, on Mother's Day, Mya started calling me "Mommy" and instantly began acting like I was her mommy. The transformation in her heart was beautiful. Vermon and I often say, that she has become more beautiful in the last few months...as she realizes this is forever, as she realizes she belongs to someone, as she learns her new identity as a "Pierre", she smiles more and more.
Now...only two months later, I can't even go into the bathroom without Mya wanting to follow me in. Several times a day, Mya runs up to me, kisses me, and says, "You're the best Mommy in the WHOLE world." When she's in time out, now she argues, "But Mommy, I need you to be with me. But Mommy, I won't be able to see you!"
I love hearing Niko and Mya call me "mommy". I can't hear it enough. I never thought I would like the sound so much. It has been such a lesson in how I pray to the Lord. How overjoyed God must be to hear his little children call him "Abba (daddy)" Father.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Praising God...
There have been countless moments of joy over the last two months as I have become a mother. Getting to know Niko and Mya have been life changing and it has been such a sweet time in Vermon and my lives.
We just got back from La Jolla in which we were able to spend a wonderful week on the beach with the kids (ah..gone are the days of reading 5 or 6 books on our weekend getaways :)).
This is a picture of Mya on the beach. There was a good half hour where Mya just sang at the top of her lungs praise songs to God, "God, you're the lover of my soul" or "God, you're so nice! God you made us! God we neeeeeeeeeed you." It didn't matter who walked by...Mya just sang as loud as she could. Sometimes it was while making sand castles, sometimes with her hands in the air just gazing out into the ocean.
Childlike faith. I wonder at what age she will become too self conscious to do that. What age did I become too self aware of others to determine when and where I praised the Lord so publicly? How glorious heaven will be when all of creation screams to the Lord in worship with no fear of man!
"At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5: 1-4
Monday, May 04, 2009
Family Like No Other Family
It has been almost a month since Niko and Mya have moved in with us full time. It has been such a wonderful, blessed time. I knew that fostering/adopting would be full of joy, but I had no idea just how much fun it would be and just how much the Lord would grow my heart to love overnight.
Since January when we started down this road of becoming parents, it has been filled with one blessing after another. The greatest blessing from God has been our church family and I just want to brag a little bit about them...
In order to have Niko and Mya live with us, we needed a 3 bedroom home. We had put an offer on a home/gone under contract with a bank the same week that we decided to move forward with having Niko and Mya move in with us. We were supposed to close at the end of February and have the kids move in sometime in March, but needless to say, nothing ever goes as planned.
Buying a foreclosed home turned out to be a nightmare. As of March, we found out it could be June until we moved into this home. By this point, Niko and Mya had been spending every weekend with us and we were already committed to being their "mommy and daddy." It was such a trial and so frustrating to try to figure out why this was happening and how we could get them to live with us as quick as possible.
As we asked those around us to pray, a couple in our church offered to switch houses with us. They had a 3 bedroom home just down the street. Within two weeks of joking about it, we were packed and ready to move. These were brothers and sisters in Christ we had just met and here they were just giving us their home. They packed up everything they owned in two weeks and swapped houses.
We moved four days before we had the kids move in with us full time. So many people showed up from church to help us move that both of our homes were completely moved in under two hours. After that, about ten women stayed and helped me unpack and put everything in the entire house away. By the time the weekend was over, we were moved in and ready for the licensing company to inspect our new home Monday morning.
It was a whirlwind and one of the most amazing things I have been a part of. To be on the receiving end of such a beautiful example of Christ-centered community moved me beyond words. I was able to go to work and tell all my co-workers about this great act of love.
Another sister from church gave me her car for nine months. Vermon and I had been happily sharing one car, but she was given a company car to drive back and forth to work in and wasn't using hers during the week. Instead of just letting it sit in her garage all week like most people would have (probably even me before all this), she gave it to me to use (and she kept paying her own insurance).
Other church family have instantly adopted Niko and Mya into their own families...seeing no distinction between their "biological" nieces and nephews and Niko and Mya. Others showed up our first three weeks to give us meals. Someone else arranged for firefighters to drop off bikes at our house for the kids. Others helped so much this first month as I have tried to finish out my work commitment/ late schedule with watching Niko and Mya, housekeeping, helping Vermon with some of his church commitments, and the list could go on and on…almost all of this happened without Vermon or I asking or suggesting this.
It has been a great illustration in our children’s lives as we talk with them about how nothing we have belongs to us, but it all belongs to God. We then talk about the many, many friends we have who have shown this to us. We talk about what it means to live life as though we had nothing, yet we have been richly blessed with everything. We tell them that we have more riches then we could ever hope for or imagine and all of this belongs to God and his purposes.
Recently, we were at the park and a homeless man approached us for money, I offered him one of our sandwiches instead and after he left Niko eagerly said, “but mommy…our money belongs to God, not you…shouldn’t you give him some, like Faith and Ryan gave us their house?”
Since January when we started down this road of becoming parents, it has been filled with one blessing after another. The greatest blessing from God has been our church family and I just want to brag a little bit about them...
In order to have Niko and Mya live with us, we needed a 3 bedroom home. We had put an offer on a home/gone under contract with a bank the same week that we decided to move forward with having Niko and Mya move in with us. We were supposed to close at the end of February and have the kids move in sometime in March, but needless to say, nothing ever goes as planned.
Buying a foreclosed home turned out to be a nightmare. As of March, we found out it could be June until we moved into this home. By this point, Niko and Mya had been spending every weekend with us and we were already committed to being their "mommy and daddy." It was such a trial and so frustrating to try to figure out why this was happening and how we could get them to live with us as quick as possible.
As we asked those around us to pray, a couple in our church offered to switch houses with us. They had a 3 bedroom home just down the street. Within two weeks of joking about it, we were packed and ready to move. These were brothers and sisters in Christ we had just met and here they were just giving us their home. They packed up everything they owned in two weeks and swapped houses.
We moved four days before we had the kids move in with us full time. So many people showed up from church to help us move that both of our homes were completely moved in under two hours. After that, about ten women stayed and helped me unpack and put everything in the entire house away. By the time the weekend was over, we were moved in and ready for the licensing company to inspect our new home Monday morning.
It was a whirlwind and one of the most amazing things I have been a part of. To be on the receiving end of such a beautiful example of Christ-centered community moved me beyond words. I was able to go to work and tell all my co-workers about this great act of love.
Another sister from church gave me her car for nine months. Vermon and I had been happily sharing one car, but she was given a company car to drive back and forth to work in and wasn't using hers during the week. Instead of just letting it sit in her garage all week like most people would have (probably even me before all this), she gave it to me to use (and she kept paying her own insurance).
Other church family have instantly adopted Niko and Mya into their own families...seeing no distinction between their "biological" nieces and nephews and Niko and Mya. Others showed up our first three weeks to give us meals. Someone else arranged for firefighters to drop off bikes at our house for the kids. Others helped so much this first month as I have tried to finish out my work commitment/ late schedule with watching Niko and Mya, housekeeping, helping Vermon with some of his church commitments, and the list could go on and on…almost all of this happened without Vermon or I asking or suggesting this.
It has been a great illustration in our children’s lives as we talk with them about how nothing we have belongs to us, but it all belongs to God. We then talk about the many, many friends we have who have shown this to us. We talk about what it means to live life as though we had nothing, yet we have been richly blessed with everything. We tell them that we have more riches then we could ever hope for or imagine and all of this belongs to God and his purposes.
Recently, we were at the park and a homeless man approached us for money, I offered him one of our sandwiches instead and after he left Niko eagerly said, “but mommy…our money belongs to God, not you…shouldn’t you give him some, like Faith and Ryan gave us their house?”
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Something to pray about...
Vermon and I have had a whirlwind of the last 3 weeks! We have been presented with the wonderful opportunity to become foster parents to a beautiful 4 year old girl and her wonderful 7 year old brother. The timing is about 7 months ahead of schedule for when we were planning on having kids and it isn't at all perfect with our lives and my career, but after meeting these wonderful children and seeing months continuing to pass with no option for them, Vermon and I felt we needed to strongly consider and pray about it...
There were a lot of factors that needed to fall into place before we could say yes. We needed a 3 bedroom house to pass state licensure standards, I needed to be able to come home from work earlier then 9pm, and Vermon needed a little creativity/flexibility with his schedule until I finish out some commitments I have at Sojourner. We started praying and both felt that these two precious children were clearly put in our path for a reason and we need to do whatever we can to ensure they have a Christ-centered, loving, safe, and nurturing home that they could go to together.
Please pray for us! Working as much as I do and getting ready to parent kids with deep needs is a little overwhelming right now, but I know God will give us the energy and strength. The kids have begun spending every weekend with us and will do that through March. In March we should close on our house and finish the licensing and then they will be with us permanently.
So...in the next 30 days we will be moving into a 3 bedroom just down the street, buying dozens of children's books, making many trips to the park, vastly shifting our priorities, reading parenting books, and adding two special additions to our family!
What a privilege God has given us!
(Once it is official I will post pictures and more details to the story (which is so obviously the Lord's doing!))
There were a lot of factors that needed to fall into place before we could say yes. We needed a 3 bedroom house to pass state licensure standards, I needed to be able to come home from work earlier then 9pm, and Vermon needed a little creativity/flexibility with his schedule until I finish out some commitments I have at Sojourner. We started praying and both felt that these two precious children were clearly put in our path for a reason and we need to do whatever we can to ensure they have a Christ-centered, loving, safe, and nurturing home that they could go to together.
Please pray for us! Working as much as I do and getting ready to parent kids with deep needs is a little overwhelming right now, but I know God will give us the energy and strength. The kids have begun spending every weekend with us and will do that through March. In March we should close on our house and finish the licensing and then they will be with us permanently.
So...in the next 30 days we will be moving into a 3 bedroom just down the street, buying dozens of children's books, making many trips to the park, vastly shifting our priorities, reading parenting books, and adding two special additions to our family!
What a privilege God has given us!
(Once it is official I will post pictures and more details to the story (which is so obviously the Lord's doing!))
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