My Goal

My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace;
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.
'Tis His to lead me there, not mine but His...
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road.
So faith bounds forward to its goal in God,
and love can trust her Lord to lead her there.
Upheld by Him, my soul is foll'wing hard,
Till God hath full fulfilled my deepest prayer.

No matter if the way be sometimes dark,
No matter though the cost be oft-times great,
He knoweth how I best shall reach the mark,
The way that leads to Him must needs be straight.

One thing I know, I cannot say Him nay;
One thing I do, I press on towards my Lord.
My God, my Glory here from day to day,
And in the glory there, my Great Reward.

-by Fredrick Brook

Back to the real world... :)

We are back from our honeymoon! We had an AMAZING time in Honduras. We spent the first week on a beautiful island off the coast of Honduras and the second week up in the rain forest on the main land. We met so many special people, visited beautiful villages, ate great food, and enjoyed every second together. Our time was so special. Thank you all for your prayers. It is hard to just pick a few pictures to share...







Thank you all for your support in our marriage. We were overwhelmed by how much God has blessed us with friends and family that love us so much and give so much of themselves to us.

thoughts T minus 18 days :)

I thought you would all enjoy seeing some pictures my sister took of us last weekend.

I cannot believe I am getting married in 18 days. Wild! Seriously. God is so good. I am just blessed beyond words to be marrying Vermon. It is amazing to be able to feel and know the love of God in such a tangible way through another human being. It is also such a gift to be able to offer complete, unconditional love to someone. I truly believe that this is a gift only God can grant. In our own power, we cannot be so self-emptying and self-giving, but through God's rich grace we can follow in the steps of Christ and serve and love one another, putting their interests far above our own. When two people do this in marriage, I believe it reflects the beauty and image of God in such an intense and pure way.

Anyway, I wanted to share some sermons about marriage and singleness to bless and encourage you. The first set are from Vermon's sermon series on sex, singlness, & marriage and the second set are from Pastor Tim from Camelback Bible Church (he did our premarital counseling). All of these messages grew and stretched our relationship in so many ways. Enjoy! :)

Vermon's series:
Christ Centered Relationships: Marriage
Christ Centered Relationships: Singleness and Dating
Christ Centered Relationships: Love and Sex

Pastor Tim:
UNITING THE GENDERS, PART I - The Mystery of Two Becoming One - Genesis 2:24-25
UNITING THE GENDERS, PART II - The Secret Power of Love - John 17:20-26
UNITING THE GENDERS, PART III - The Holy Combustion of Physical Union - 1Cor. 6:12-20, Prov. 5:15-20, Song of Songs
UNITING THE GENDERS, PART IV - Signposts for Men and Women - Assorted Biblical Texts

Red Sox Fever

This isn't going to be one of my deeper/challenging posts...just a random observation...

Last night was such an interesting experience. I was sitting at a Red Sox vs. Diamondbacks game in Phoenix Arizona with Vermon and 20+ of my closest family members (some of which flew from new england to watch the 3 game inter-leauge series). You NEVER would have known we were in Phoenix. 9.5 out of 10 people were wearing Red Sox paraphernalia (the other 5% was a mix of D-backs stuff and Yankees stuff). When the jumbo trons came on, trying to rally the croud to root, "D-back" the crowd burst out in a wave of "Red Sox"...when the D-backs got a good call, boos...when the red sox made a good play...Case Field erupted in cheers.

I think the high light of the night was when some Red Sox fans who had one (or 4) too many $6 beers started cheering, "Yankees Suck" (I think chanting that phrase over and over was more fun for my 8 and 10 year old cousins then the Red Sox actually playing!) I couldn't help but feel bad for the D-backs...getting booed while on their home field. But not too bad to not enjoy the Red Sox win in overtime.

Okay...honestly, I didn't care at all about the game. Vermon and I just went to be with everyone. It was so exciting to be a part of my younger cousins excitement...and memories. They were in New England Heaven. I spent much more time watching them cheer, hoot, hollar, and laugh then I did watch the game (although, I did see the great play that tied the game...pretty exciting :)).

This is an obvious parallel...but it is remarkable to me that millions of men can be so passionate about sports...to the point of tearing when their team wins the World Series, Super Bowl, etc...to the point of HATING or disdaining a team like the Yankees...yet these same men struggle with their passion for God and even more so for people. I don't get it. It is interesting that people can get so excited about something that does nothing for humanity and means nothing in light of eternity, yet feel no conviction about their belief in God meaning nothing in their every day life.

(Disclaimer: not saying there is anything wrong about loving a team...as long as they aren't the Yankees ;))

Getting a Biblical Perspective on Social Status

Due to being out of town, childrens church, and nursery...I was a little behind on my favorite pastor's sermons (great theology, great passion, and very attractive...you can't get a better combination from a pastor ;) )

Anyway...Vermon's James series has been so good (in my completely unbiased opinion). I just listened to this sermon on James 1: 9-11.

I HIGHLY encourage you to listen:

Getting a Biblical Perspective on Social Status

her name is "mommy"

I really have the best job in the entire world… I feel like I am doing it injustice by even calling it a job…finally, I get paid to just be Dennae. :) I really would work at Sojourner Center for free (shh…don’t tell anyone, the pay is kinda helpful for paying bills!) Often, I get in my car after a long, exhausting, draining day and I pause before turning the key. In that pause, I just get this big smile on my face as my mind is flooded with all the precious moments I had that day and great life lessons I learned. There is something about working with hurting children that constantly reminds me of the simplicity of life and the value of love, touch, and belonging. I feel like I have, in many ways, learned more from my kids that I work with then I have taught them.

One of those learning moments happened right before I left for the long weekend on Thursday. I was walking around the center when I found a wandering kid running around in the grass. I asked the four-year-old if I could hold his hand and walk with him back to his room and I said, “I am going to go find your mom, what is her name?” He looked at me and said, “her name is mommy.” I smiled. “Yes, I know, but what do other people call her?” He got a puzzled look on his face and said, “her name is mommy.” I knelt down on his level, so I could be face to face with him, and tried again, “friend, I know you call her mommy, but what about people who aren’t hers, what do they call her?” “mommy.” Hmm…this line of questioning wasn’t working, so I took a different route. “what does she look like?” “She looks like my mommy.” I had to hold in the laughter. “what color hair does she have?” He paused, looked like he was thinking, and with complete sincerity said, “the same color hair all mommies have.” At that point I just decided that I loved this child’s heart and decided to play with him until she came back to the room.

Sometimes I feel like I approach God in that way. I can take the complex, mysterious, awe-inspiring God…and in a few short breaths, simply reduce him to a three letter word, void of meaning and emotion. To a child, “mommy”= “my mother”; to an adult, “mommy” = “billions of women all over the world.”

To me, “God”= my creator, my passion, my love; the one who has rescued me, through Christ, from a life of meaningless existence where the world revolved around me and brought me to a life of purposeful mission where the world revolves around God and his good, justice, grace, and mercy. To the world, “God”= whatever you want him to be.

I think this is why that street corner “preacher” on Mill avenue that says, “repent you evil sinners, the end is near and you are going to burn in hell” really gets my blood pumping. I imagine a person walking up to him and saying, “Who is it that we are supposed to repent to?” The “preacher” looks at him with a “your stupid” look and says, “God.” “Ya, but who is God?” “duh, God is god.” “Okay, I understand that, but who is this God you speak of?” “He is God.”

How quickly that conversation would grow old and annoying. I feel like too often, we approach God as though he were the same as every other “god” in the universe. There is more to “God” then five minute evangelistic tactic could ever present. Are there times where we are given only a five minute opportunity to really share with someone who Jesus is and how he has totally changed our hearts, our passions, our lives? Absolutely. But should that be the majority of times we are talking about who this God is? Absolutely not.


If I believe God to be all that he says he is then my thoughts, my reading, my conversations, my relationships, my time should be consumed with Him. It should be evident in every moment of my life that I am on a life-long quest to intimately know my God and act in a way that reflects His goodness and kindness. I need to have more words in my vocabulary to describe Him then simply, “God.” So much so, that I can spend not just five minutes, but hours and days explaining, describing, and articulating who He is, what He looks like, and what He cares about.

happiness is just a curly fry away...

Vermon and I spent the day yesterday walking along a beautiful beach by my aunt and uncle’s house in sunny southern California. I was struck all throughout our walk by God’s majesty and beauty. Nature has a way of making me stop, swallow that lump in my throat, and stand in awe of God. This weekend has been nothing but one happy moment after another, which is why I found this so amusing…at the end of our walk, Vermon and I came across this empty soda cup that said:

“Happiness is just a curly fry away.”

Interesting statement. I kind of smiled as I pointed it out to Vermon, “This would be the winner if our culture could be defined by a soda cup…” I joked. At that moment it seemed funny, but as I reflect on it, I do not know how far I was from the truth.

Americans…maybe just humans in general, pine for a life of happiness. It is even valued as high of a right as life and liberty! Think about what that means? Should the pursuit of happiness be a human right and if so, should it be equal to life and liberty?

And…just like everything else, we don’t want that pursuit to be a hard, toilsome work. Put it in the microwave, set it to high…instant happiness. It is “just” a moment away…quick, pull over, buy these curly fries and you will be happy.

You fill in the blank. Happiness is just a soul mate away. Happiness is just a dream house away. Happiness is just an adventure away. Happiness is just a satisfying job away. Happiness is just a __________ away.

The more we pursue happiness the less happy our world gets. It is in pursuing our own agendas and desires that we become more evil. We were created to serve. We should be pursuing a life of constant sacrificial, self-emptying service to God and others. What if the Decleration of Independence read, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the right to live a life of constant, Christ-like service to God and each other.”

It is in service, many times a tiring, exhausting act, where we will find the deepest satisfaction and happiness ever known. There is nothing instant about it. You can’t pull over the moment you get a craving, whip out a $5 bill and purchase it. Living a life of constant, selfless service is work, hard work. But it is a work that will lead to endless and limitless rewards.

One of the most incredible lessons I have begun to learn through my relationship with Vermon is that happiness is simply a side benefit. Marrying him because he makes me happy would destroy us, because it moves the epicenter of our marriage from Christ to us and our desires. If I walk forward in marrying him simply based on my happiness, then I am missing the entire reason God created marriage.

God created marriage to express himself and to glorify his name. In marrying Vermon, I am given the gift of being able to reflect the image of God to him and him to me. And the image of God is shown in his son, Jesus Christ, who gave himself as a sacrifice for us. How beautiful. It is beautiful that our love will only be as deep as we are able to reflect Christ to each other. It is only in self-emptying, sacrificial love and service to each other that we be able to fulfill the purpose that God intended for marriage.

Of course, if we both strive to, by God’s grace, do that…we will know an indescribable amount of happiness. What I value more then happiness is the deep, divine-like love that I have received from Vermon. The moments in life that I have pursued happiness do not compare to the moments where I have been able to love and serve Vermon in ways that are not normal or natural…and times when I have received acts of service from him that are far from what I deserve. We cannot afford to pursue happiness. Happiness is not the chief end of man.

The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him fully.

God, help me to pursue that.